the fake alphabet is revealed!!

After watching The Dude's every move for the last week or so I've come to the conclusion that a) I am a Hot Shit Private Eye;
b) He doesn't always wash his vegetables before eating them, leading to Great Concern on my part that he is consuming too many pesticides NOT TO MENTION Other People's Germs (your own germs are A-OK); and
b) There is something going on with him.*

There is definitely something sinister in the way he is arranging his hair products on the bathroom shelf. They appear haphazard (OF COURSE THEY DO, he is trying to ACT NATURAL!) but I have been examining them in relation to astrological charts and the rubbish collection cycle and I HAVE IDENTIFIED A PATTERN. I would draw it for you but I don't want to commit myself to Electronics in case he has someone watching me.

This has lead me to suspect that he may be, as they say in the FBI, "in cahoots" with the pussycats. The pussycats, whose many aliases (aliai? dude where is an old school Roman when you need one) include "Lady Fats and The Ratboy" and "Bunnyfeet Flopsy and Monsieur Giraffe" are generally kind of slack, as pussycats tend to be, and on their own I don't think they'd have enough oomph to mastermind a dastardly criminal plot, but they have always envied my relationship with Claudie, and they and The Dude get along great shakes. They are sometimes laughing together in a room, and then when I walk in they get all narrow lipped and pursed eyes. Sure, I am often carrying a Not Very Hidden Camera and a Boom, but after all the hard times we've been through together you'd think they'd trust me by now.

I may have to enlist the services of Sloginski. He may be only a delusional KGB agent but I think he is quite Good at Delusions.

xoxox nora

* In my travels have also discovered Disturbing News that we have been DUPED by our PRIMARY SCHOOLS, and that "B" IN FACT COMES AFTER "B"!! Who said this blog wasn't Educational!!!