1. Samantha Brett
Author of "luv n txt" and Sydney Morning Herald Blogger, here is a sample of her work:
Getting a man to propose is hard to do. But what if you've been
dating him for what seems like an eternity, yet the bloke still just won't
budge? Is there a way to get him to propose without begging, bitching and
backstabbing your way in like a premature desperate housewife? And, is it
ever okay for the females do the asking?
She also has totally fucked up grammar, and as you can see from my blog I AM COMPLETELY FUCKING ENRAGING OF BAD GRAMMARS.
So dudes, next time you're thinking of donning a pair of Samantha Brett eyeballs, think twice; they only come in size"HEY SAM YOU FUCKING MOTHERFUCKING DEADCUNT WHY DONT YOU CALL YOUR STUPID FUCKING BLOG 'WELCOME TO COCKSTOWN' THEN INVITE ALL YOUR STUPID FUCKING FRIENDS TO THE SAMANTHA COCKSTOWN MASSACRE LIKE PRONTO YOU FUCKING VENEREALLY DISEASED MOTHERFUCKING TARDCUNTED FUCKWIT. APART FROM THAT, TOTALLY LOVE YOUR WORK!! LOLZ!! LOVE FROM MISTER NORA, NORTHCOTE, VIC. XOXOXO PS LOLZ IS IT EVER OKAY/LEGAL FOR FEMALES TO RAPE THEIR HUSBANDS? HAHA LOLZERYTHMS!!! KTHNXBYE. "
2. The Dude's meat gun.
"Yo, mister nora, is this the meat gun you're talking about?"
No, man, that's not the meat gun I'm talking about.
Anyway, The Dude can wear his meat gun around because he is 10-15 years ahead of fashion with little to no chance of parole. But it's probably not advisable for the likes of you and I. (Unless you are Kate Moss, that hotbabe can get away with anything. Also, if you are Kate Moss: PETE DOHERTY? LOLZAPALOOLZA!!!!!!!!#*%!!!!!1)
I'll try to post pictures laters but right now you'll have to content yerselves with the meat hat.
THOSE DUDES HAVE BEEN STUDYING THEIR LOLZZZOLOGY!!!!!!!!!!!! LOLZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!
3. These outfits
LOLZ IZ IN DA HAUS!!!!!!!!!
xoxo nora
PS JESUS LOLZ YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOLZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!1
6 comments:
Dear Mr Nora
Thanks for bringing a bit of Wesley Anne at 3 am to the black streets of the Fung. It is only 9.30 and the bell for curfew has just rung, I kid you not. Did I mention that all the clubs and bars in town have been shut down for the past three weeks?
Anyway, Madge and I laughed so hard we cried after reading this. It is "culturally inappropriate" to swear over here, so rants like yours have to be restricted to the four institutional green walls of our aspestos home. Yay.
The way Samantha Brett !uses metaphors makes me happy. I never read her everday to, see how she has made a fool of herself on this calender day or how she has prostituted Grammar. I hate it how she constantly interviews bloggers as some sort of authority. Or even relationship experts who don't agree for their proper name to be used.
NOTE: OPPOSITES DAY
I'm pretty sure I once saw her on the street wearing a band of horses. Mordern woman in the city? Or.... not?! <--stunning revelations
Dear Jobe and Mister Nora
Thanks for bringing up the subject of Samantha Brett. I have since had a look at her Web Site, including a dope biography of her right about here.
Any killing of shitloads of Civilians with my fucking Bare Hands in a Psychotic Rage I do right now is probably totally unrelated, 'had it coming' etc.
Kind Regards,
Jess: man I wouldn't last 5 seconds in town with no bars/swearings. ARE THEY INSANE/MORMONS??
Jobe: wow bands of horses are like SO June 2003 it's not even funny. Also, she should fucking interview me as some sort of authority (maybe as the Khmer Rouge circa 1974).
BWFS: Civilians better flee the scene pretty fucking quick now I have also viewed that website. My heart is full of bullets and Sylvester Stallone movies.
Samantha Brett quote of the day:
"Me? I once dated a guy who took six months to call me his "girlfriend" in front of his mates, let alone tell me liked me."
THAT'S BECAUSE HE HATED YOUR FUCKING GUTS YOU FUCKING FUCKWIT.
xoxo nora
omg what a feckin tool. i had no idea she existed. thanks for letting me know there is someone else to hate. and, is she really 22? why does she look like she's kerri-anne's twin? gross.
22 going on 40 (bllion). Perhaps she is the spawn of Kerri-Anne and Richard Wilkins from that time they got hammered and started hammering at The Midday Show 1996 Christmas party [NB mathematicians say this is chronologically unlikely].
Today's quote of the day from her website:
"text skills aren’t all that there is to Samantha Brett...She is currently the face of the Head and Shoulders Dating Survey campaign."
HAHA SAMANTHA BRETT HAS DANDRUFF!
xoxo nora
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