Brace yourselves, dudes, I have some pretty fucked up news.
I had a phone call this morning from this lady who goes, "so, mister nora, how did you feel your job interview with 'Miscellaneous Professional Workplace' went last week?"
I said "Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Good?"
She said: "Did the position sound interesting?"
I said, "Ummmmmmmmmmmm. Yes?"
She said, "Well, we'd like to offer you the job!"
I said: "[shocked pause]............that's..... great?"
Apparently using phrases such as "I work with a team of committed, fantastic people" then kind of starting to giggle in the midst of a job interview really pays off.
This turn of events is remarkable to the point of UNBELIEVABLE, also a little bit HILARIOUS and kind of CONCERNING.
And fuck man, I was soooo looking forward to spending next year lolling about in the manner of a Paxton, pulling bongs & watching Springer all day. HOW DID I GET MYSELF INTO THIS MESS????????????
xoxo nora
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
thats rad dude
good shit
you'd be surprised at exactly what some employers like
i managed to get a job at an engineering company with a GPA of 1.09 and no degree.
i've been here a year now!
Dear Mister Nora
Large Congratulations on your Deployment Opportunity. May I ask if it is in the 'profit' or 'non-profit' sectors ie, 'how many cardigans / Armani can be reasonably expected' etc.
Kind Regards,
Dear Mr Nora,
This is fantastic news. It's a pity about the lack of bongs.
However, I don't know about you, but I've always wanted to smoke cones in a dynamic goal-orientated team enviroment. Maybe, if you bribe the right peoples you could make this a standard work practice?
David Mack
Kiki: a year! congratulations. I predict I will last 3-6 days depending on how long it takes me to show up to work drunk.
BWFS: it's cardigan central, man, there are more cardigans on show than you can poke a pearl button/polyster blouse at. I am stocking up on flat shoes & Stalinist propaganda as we speak.
Dave Mack: you are on to something here bro. I am going to draft a memo re: proposed replacement of "Casual Fridays" with "Cannabis Tuesdays", "Cocaine Wednesdays" and "Champagne Thursdays" like straight off. Statistics show that shit promotes dynamic goal-oriented teamwork like you wouldn't believe.
xoxo nora
Post a Comment