Sure, it's exciting like a fox to be the World's Best and Most Elderly Student and that, but it does mean I have to make sacrifices. First it's cutting the throat of my firstborn son, for fucks, and now it's giving up my LONG HELD DREAM to spend that $195 on a special product that is totally close to my heart (even though it is in America, dude, how does that work?). But I have faced facts, and right now I am hardly even gouging out my own eyes about those facts, i.e. that I will never own my own Revolutionary Fishing Product: The Evening Fishing Secret!
"So Powerful It Was Banned In 2 States!"
The "Evening Secret" attracts millions of "zooplankton" like a magnet! In less than 40 minutes you will see millions of the zooplankton organisms in clumps all around your fishing spot! Can you guess what happens next?
You guessed it!
Hundreds of bait fish literally torpedo into your spot in a ravenous feeding frenzy! All of the millions of zooplankton in one spot is just impossible for them to resist! But that's not the best part...
With the hundreds of bait fish swarming your spot - feeding like mad - the game fish get extremely excited and start to move into the area to feed on the bait fish! All of the fish come to YOU!
"SUCK MY COCK, HOMEBOYS! THESE FISHES ARE EXCITED BY MY ZOOPLANKTON, FOR REALS!"
Do you see how happy this man is? (PRETTY HAPPY)
Well, dudes, I am not that happy.
xoxo nora
2 comments:
Dear Mister
I checked out that Secret Web Page and straight up some dude was talking to me from out the Computer, it was so sweet, had a little chat about Fishing, the guy was pretty cool, had so many things to say 'When I was a stupid / innocent Child, Fishing in Lake Galilee or what-haveyou' but I had to go early due to Pains.
All up a pretty good day's work.
Kind Regards,
IOYC Backstage Rockumentary
Dear IOYC
I'm glad you enjoy EFS website; I visit it every day to hear the dulcet tones of the man I am now totally in love with: Dan Eggerston, "raging fishing fanatic" and Discoverer of the Evening Fishing Secret. Man, can that guy talk fish, and also slaughter them. Awesome.
xoxo nora
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