Nightmares in Northcote

World has gone fucking loopy: have been offered ANOTHER JOB. Dear jesus why does everyone want to employ me allofasudden, can't they just leave me in peace to play web based sudoku/read horse magazies/write poems about forks?

Also - GET THIS: apparently 'full time' means every day of the week [except Sat/Sun]...like, WTF?? Are these law dudes on some kind of methamphetamine habit/how can they expect me to be awake so often? Is it too early for an early-mid life crisis, WHERE IS A BLONDE BABE IN A CONVERTIBLE WHEN YOU NEED ONE. FUCK. As if my body is not fucked enough what with all the martinis/red wine, now I am also going to have to get up before midday/wear shoes without holes in them, OMG its like I'm suddenly World President, ONLY HARDER/MORE IMPORTANT THAN THAT.

At the moment I have accepted both jobs ["GOD YES I'D LOVE TO WORK FOR YOU AND YOUR FANTASTIC COMMITMENT OF TEAMED PEOPLES, WHEN CAN I START/HOW EARLY CAN I GET UP/I CANNOT BEAR THIS TERRIBLE LIFE OF LEISURE, IDLENESS MAKES ME NAUSEOUS/CAUSES CANCER"] so come Monday I am going to have to call someone up and break their hardened little Human Resources heart. Or else I could just try working 2 full time jobs next year, how hard could that be? NOT NEARLY FUCKING HARD ENOUGH FOR THE LIKES OF MISTER NORA!* THE ONLY THING MORE FUN THAN WORKING 2 FULLTIME JOBS WOULD BE WORKING 223 FULLTIME JOBS, THAT WOULD BE TOTALLY AWESOME, WHERE DO I SIGN UP.

*[Now I have been welcomed to the World of Employment I feel I am fully justified in referring to myself in the 3rd person, also the 4th, 5th 6th etc.]

[I think I'm taking this capitalisation thing too far, maybe I should just make everything bold and utilise more exclamation marks to underline my intense excitement about this whole situation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

I AM SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I AM SO EXCITED I COULD ALMOST DIE OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IN FACT I AM SO EXCITED WOULD SOMEONE PLEASE JUST KILL ME NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


XOXO NORA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!