Saturday, September 30, 2006

Learning is a Lifelong Journey (of Beef)

So in case you have been concerned that what with my intense Vacationing Abroad/Viewing of Colon(ie)s Etc I have given up hope of bettering myself through the Pursuit of Heaps of Knowledge, I'm telling you now bros, DON'T BE AFRAID [OF THE STORM OR INDEED OF MISCELLANEOUS OTHER THINGS INCLUDING SHEEP/CHICKENS/LEATHER BROGUES/LICE/ETC].

I have lately enrolled myself at none other than the Highly Esteemed 'Steven Raichlen's BBQ University'. This place is the shit, I have totally learned more than I ever thought I could about barbequing of all kinds. Favourite classes so far include "402: The New Face of Beef" and "408: Extreme Grilling" (100% more awesome/life threatening than Regular Grilling, I am not kidding).

I can hear you ask, "HOW DID YOU FIND THIS SHIT, YOU ARE ONE RESOURCEFUL MOTHERFUCKING LADY OF THE KNOWLEDGE". Well, yes I am. You see, on the Television yesterday I learned that Steven is One of The Most Trusted Faces in Barbequeing in America, due to his many "Firey Recipes" as well as his "luxurient facial hair." Right away I knew I was on to something AWESOME so I signed up at his BBQU Straight Off, i.e. without a second to waste.

Today I joined the Poultry and Game Sorority at BBQU which has involved certain amounts of Consumption of Chickens/Sexual Humiliation, but it has totally been worth it because once I graduate (current estimate: 3.2 weeks/several years) I am going to invite all my Sorority Sisters over for the Sensational Graduational Thanksiving BBQ of none other than mister nora BA (Hons) LLB (Hons) BBBQ (Poultries) 34EE (Tits)*. We can all stoke our BBQs and stroke our beards (facial) together: it will be like those infamous KFC Christmas Parties of the 1980s, only heaps more Educated/hairy. Steven Raichlen will obviously be the Guest of Honour; I am considering requesting he perform his special secret Vegetarian Spit Roast Dish, but first I will need to find a reliable Kosher Vegetarian Slaughterhouse, there are many Jews in my sorority (I will look in my Lonely Planet for listings and keep you Updated on Developments of All Kinds).

Tomorrow I learn about "BBQ From Soup to Nuts". My life is being enriched in more ways than I can count (i.e. over seven) and I highly recommend you purchase the DVD .

xoxox nora
* Tits not guaranteed.

3 comments:

Sam said...

There's a serious lack of Australian influence in terms of BBQing on that website. Great find though!

kiki said...

hear hear sammo

americans don't know how to cook
so, maybe you should get your bachelor there and then come here and get your masters...?

that's mister nora to you, sonny said...

Yeah bros, although this is clearly THE GREATEST/MOST ADVANCED/GOD'S FAVOURITE NATION ON EARTH etc the dudes here could definitely benefit from the culinary stylings of Ian "HUGE" Hewitson.

Also, there is a total lack of tim tams and twisties. AND THEY CALL THEM SELVES "INDUSTRIALISED"!!!!!!! The nerve.

xoxo nora