So I was doing a google search for myself the other day [and NO I'M NOT ASHAMED, I KNOW you do it too, and YES, I'm looking at YOU, Gary Simpson], and I found out that a while ago the awesome Christine Keeler, who should really have her own blog, suggested to Larvatus Prodeo that they add me to their blog roll. So the dude came over to my site, checked it out, and pronounced it 'Not Sufficiently Concerned with the Motherfucking Realness', The Realness being 'The Politics of Lands'.
At first I was totally like WTF, Nobody Deals with Big Issues Like mister motherfucking nora. I mean sure they do a nice job covering La-Di-Da Local Issues but do you see Larvatus Prodeo reporting on the fucking Threat to Civilisation as We Know it that is the Rats of the Sky/Aggressive Squirrels/Seals of Wrath? I DIDN'T THINK SO.
However after like, a number of hours/weeks spent gnashing teeth, renting hair [mostly The Dude's] and howling to the moon etc, I experienced what my Doctor termed a 'grand mal seizure', although I personally prefer to call it an Epiphany of Self Realisation. Dudes are totally right, there is Not Nearly Enough Talk of Rights for Darkies/How Much Andrew Bolt Sux and so on on this blog.
So GET YOUR BRAINS OUT KIDS, cos here is my first ever round up of World Events and shit, divided up into Colours to make for easy reading and comprehension:
1. War: Pros - money spinner for The Man; Cons - Distracts from Sports.
2. Democracy: Pros - better than Kingdom of Heaven; Cons - humans are pretty dumb.
3. Women: Pros - tits; Cons - Getting Uppity.
4. Australia: Pros - is not as full of Krauts as Germany is; Cons-not enough areas suitable for dog sledding.
5. Justin Timberlake: Pros - broke up with Cameron Diaz; Cons - went out with Cameron Diaz.
6. God: Pros - fullsome beard; Cons - wears togas.
7. George Bush: Pros - speaks English; Cons - Friends with God.
8. Daryl Somers: Pros - retired; Cons - came out of retirement.
9. Private Schools: Pros - boating opportunities; Cons - blazers.
10. Droughts: Pros - The Dude likes deserts; Cons - I prefer desserts.
Woah, are you happy now Larvatus, cos my Brain is Really Fucking Sore. THANKS A MILLION.
Let this be a lesson for like, four or five of us.
xoxo nora
Friday, January 05, 2007
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6 comments:
Dear Mister Nora
Fucking shit yeah! re: Gary Simpson.
Also, the rest of this post was dynamically motivating.
Kind Regards,
Dear BWFS,
Thanks bro, I was also excited re: Gary Simpson.
Incidentally, if you chucked the 'fire' bit from your name, your initials would be BWS. ARE YOU RELATED/JUST GOOD FRIENDS.
xoxo nora
Dear Mister Nora
1. The chances of that chucking happening are around 4/5 of Absolutely Fuck All; however,
2. That dude BWS is like my fucking brother from another mother or some shit, except in the New Year, where I have resolved to live like a fucking Saint of Jesus.
Kind Regards,
Dear BWFS,
Jesus will never love you like a Vendor of Adult Beverages can. Other than that, I totally commend your noble intentions and that. Like Nancy Reagan says, JUST SAY "NO"/"ok maybe just this one time".
xoxo nora
That's really been a lesson to all five of me. But I'm not so sure George Bush speaks English. And is he really friends with guys in togas?
Meva: I'm not sayin he speak English real good or nothin, but I think he knows a few basic words ("hello" "how are you" "we WILL prevail" "OMG it's an axis of evil!!" etc) or at least his speechwriters do.
I'll admit my information re togas could be a bit hazy - it's possible he is just friends with a goat.
xoxo nora
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