you're nobody until somebody hates you

I've always been a serial monogamist when it comes to my archrivals.

It began with traitorous SN, my best friend in kindergarten who turned against me once she joined the Grade One cool set at our Catholic primary school. Bitch. She was followed in late primary school by TS, a giant Finnish girl, but I can't really remember why I hated her - maybe because she was terrifyingly good looking, and I was at a vulnerable age where I'd only just discovered that the boy who sat next to me in my Sanskrit class has a penis that I might one day want to have a look at.

In years 7 and 8 it was my best friend, who was smart, ugly and mean. Then there was CB in year 10, who looked like a transsexual but who I desperately wanted to be friends with. She was wry and sarcastic and she crushed me like a bug... I exacted my terrible revenge by making faces at her behind her back for the following two years. I showed her, all right.

My current nemesis is someone I work with. She's gorgeous, sweet and capable. I don't believe she's ever sworn at her parents, laddered a stocking or laughed so hard that she accidentally snorted. She's so perfect she's even a perfect nemesis.

Does everyone have a nemesis? I always thought that just like where there is yin there is yang, where there is light there is dark, where there is a coalition of the willing there is an axis of evil, well, I always thought the nemesis thing was universal. After all, they say there's someone out there for everyone.