Wow them with your bubbly personality.

This week I attended the “job interview” of 2006. To set the scene, picture mister nora, in a suit [of human hair, and some other threads], in an office, shaking hands, maybe twitching a little.

Anyhow, the interview starts, they ask me some totally crazy shit such as “what are your strengths?” and “why do you want to work for us?” etc, man, where do they come up with this stuff? Normally in this situation I would be pretty nervous, like, my whole worth as a person [est. $17.52] was being assessed by some wacky dudes from HR [WHAT IS WITH HR DUDES; WHY MUST THEY SMILE LIKE SHARKS/ASK QUESTIONS/CONTACT MY REFERENCES? Like, just CHILL OUT, dudes, woah.]. This time, though, I was CONFIDENT LIKE A FOX.

You see, I had a super powerful secret weapon on my side. And it’s time to get excited, friends, because out of the pure golden kindness of my charred and filthy heart, today, I am going to share my secret with YOU!

When you are in a job interview situation, CURE YOUR ANXIETY in one simple move:
IMAGINE YOU ARE ROCKY.
- Do this by PUNCHING THE AIR, and maybe also your INTERVIEWER.
- Make sure you are SWEATING PROFUSELY, and have EATEN SOME RAW EGGS.
- SNARL, and ensure your NOSE LOOKS BROKEN.
- FINALLY, the finishing touch, without which you cannot be Rocky:

AS YOU ENTER THE INTERVIEW ROOM, YOUR SOUNDTRACK MUST BE “EYE OF THE TIGER”; I REPEAT, “EYE OF THE TIGER”.

Preferably “Eye of the Tiger” will be performed by a “Quality Pop/Rock Cover Band with Influences Including Bryan Adams, P Diddy, Dave Mathews Band, Tortoise, Queen, Frank Sinatra and various Hardcore Metal Acts”. If this is too hard to arrange (DO YOU REALLY WANT THIS JOB?), another option is to simply play the song on repeat in your head as you stride in to BLOW THEM AWAY WITH YOUR POWERFUL ROCKY MOVES.


They are sure to hire you.



No doubt about it.




Just remember, dudes: it’s all in the eye of the tiger.



xoxo nora