Today I realised that I rarely get to use the terms COCKSPANK and CUNTEYES in my day to day routine.
Do you think this is because I am a Cancer? Sometimes I think my life would be wholly different if my star sign had been named after some less terminal disease. I know with these days with Chemotherapy and Leaching etc the prognosis is not always totally hopeless, but still, being riddled with tumors is just not glamorous in the way that, say, Syphilis or Dwarfism are glamorous. Obviously, for my particular problem, the illness of choice would be Tourette's, but even Gangrene has a certain way of catching the public imagination which I feel it's not entirely unreasonable of me to envy. You know, like you go off on a dangerous yet exhilarating mountain mission and/or attend an icecapade and you come back to civilisation with an aura of inner stillness and a more limited number of toes, and suddenly everyone thinks you're some kind of HERO. Call me crazy, but I feel that if I had a Gangrene related star sign not only would I be feared and admired in equal measure by my adoring public, but the words COCKSPANK and CUNTEYES would also be featuring pretty prominently in my everyday communications. But then I'm no expert on these matters...which brings me back to my initial question, life counsellor:
I look forward to your prompt response.
Yours,
xoxo nora
PS Myers Briggs says I am ENFP if that is of any assistance.
1 comments:
Of course you can blame your cockspanking cunteyes of parents.
It's what I do. It's what all Cancerians should do. Are we not human?
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