Are holiday snappies like the best thing ever you could ever possibly see on a blog ever?
MOST RHETORICAL QUESTION EVS SINCE MY LAST RHETORICAL QUESTION.
xoxo nora
PS "Chez Pope":
Saturday, December 30, 2006
Hallo.
Are holiday snappies like the best thing ever you could ever possibly see on a blog ever?
MOST RHETORICAL QUESTION EVS SINCE MY LAST RHETORICAL QUESTION.
Friday, December 29, 2006
Travels with My Cunt
Sooooooooooo bros news from The Continent is that I am currently thinking of fashioning some kind of large firearms, possibly out of du mineral water, a frenchman and maybe a porcelaine figurine resembling a milkmaid avec un garcon seeing as that's the kind of material I have on hand right now. Sometimes I am truly thankful to Our Saviour that I am so fucking resourceful in an engineering/EXTREME VIOLENCE sense.
You see, facts are that while on holiday I have been PROVOKED by a KRAUT! Basically, it would take a long time (YEARS OF YOUR LIFE) to explain fully but the outline of the situation is that aVGermin has sent me an email suggesting that I am some kind of INTERNATIONAL CRIMINAL/SLOB/CONWOMAN/CARMEN SANDIEGO.
"OMG, THE NERVE! LIKE, WHO WON THEASHESWAR[Z], FUCKFACE!"
Exactly, dudes, like, FOR REALS. I almost wrote back suggesting that Mr Germanski "CLIMB UP AN ARSEHOLE FULL OF POOS" or something similarly poetic/concise, but after some consideration I decided that such words might be Hasty; this situation instead calls for quiet reflection, prayer and a polite response that will ensure that I will keep a firm handle on the Moral, Spiritual and also Legal Higher Ground,
AND ALSO THAT THE KRAUT HAS HIS FACE/TESTICLES BLOWN AWAY AND HIS CHILDREN SKEWERED FRIED AND EATEN BY SOME SWISS DUDES AS AN ACCOMPANIMENT TO RICE CRISPIES, SEVERAL LAGERS + MAYBE A POT OF FONDUE.
I have been in touch with the Australian Embassy indicating that I would appreciate their help in arranging the above, in basically the same words only WITH MORE CAPITALS, but all they could say was "WE SUGGEST YOU CONTACT RUSSIANS, PS CRIKEY WE LOVE VEGEMITE". Honestly WTF are embassies for if not to provide assistance in SKEWERING GERMAN CHILDREN.
I was briefly worried that this whole incident is turning me a little bit Racist, but thing is I am full of Hatred for Dudes and Laydeez of All Kinds, my misanthrophy does not discriminate on the basis of national boundaries, fingernail length, penchant for lederhosen etc, so according to my research I am pretty fucking confident that once this milkmaid gets put to work launching grenades/nuclear devices at the Germ, my actions will safely fall within the Geneva Convention/Declaration of Human Rights/International Laws of the Sea.
Also, like Jesus says, "IF NOT NOW, WHEN?"
"Is it next year/some time next week?"
I don't know bros, ask the fucking Germans.
xoxo nora
You see, facts are that while on holiday I have been PROVOKED by a KRAUT! Basically, it would take a long time (YEARS OF YOUR LIFE) to explain fully but the outline of the situation is that a
"OMG, THE NERVE! LIKE, WHO WON THE
Exactly, dudes, like, FOR REALS. I almost wrote back suggesting that Mr Germanski "CLIMB UP AN ARSEHOLE FULL OF POOS" or something similarly poetic/concise, but after some consideration I decided that such words might be Hasty; this situation instead calls for quiet reflection, prayer and a polite response that will ensure that I will keep a firm handle on the Moral, Spiritual and also Legal Higher Ground,
AND ALSO THAT THE KRAUT HAS HIS FACE/TESTICLES BLOWN AWAY AND HIS CHILDREN SKEWERED FRIED AND EATEN BY SOME SWISS DUDES AS AN ACCOMPANIMENT TO RICE CRISPIES, SEVERAL LAGERS + MAYBE A POT OF FONDUE.
I have been in touch with the Australian Embassy indicating that I would appreciate their help in arranging the above, in basically the same words only WITH MORE CAPITALS, but all they could say was "WE SUGGEST YOU CONTACT RUSSIANS, PS CRIKEY WE LOVE VEGEMITE". Honestly WTF are embassies for if not to provide assistance in SKEWERING GERMAN CHILDREN.
I was briefly worried that this whole incident is turning me a little bit Racist, but thing is I am full of Hatred for Dudes and Laydeez of All Kinds, my misanthrophy does not discriminate on the basis of national boundaries, fingernail length, penchant for lederhosen etc, so according to my research I am pretty fucking confident that once this milkmaid gets put to work launching grenades/nuclear devices at the Germ, my actions will safely fall within the Geneva Convention/Declaration of Human Rights/International Laws of the Sea.
Also, like Jesus says, "IF NOT NOW, WHEN?"
"Is it next year/some time next week?"
I don't know bros, ask the fucking Germans.
xoxo nora
Thursday, December 28, 2006
How to Improve Christmas in 5 Easy Steps!
1. Spend it 20,000 miles (or some such shit) away from anyone you are related to by blood.
2. Consume 20,000 champagne cocktails.
3. Kick it off with some delightful TV Christmas Specials, preferably all in German.
"Einer spittel liebe markt guten tag vow vow das ist fich dich doch selst, ya?"
4. Watch DVDs involving Mel Gibson at an earlier, handsomer, less antisemitic age.
"In a post-apocolyptic future, I will become quite ugly, quite drunk, and slag off the jews, and then I will make a fucking killing at the box office. Awesome."
5. Give The Dude a haircut.
ALWAYZ GUT FOR FUN TIMEZ.
xoxo nora
2. Consume 20,000 champagne cocktails.
3. Kick it off with some delightful TV Christmas Specials, preferably all in German.
"Einer spittel liebe markt guten tag vow vow das ist fich dich doch selst, ya?"
4. Watch DVDs involving Mel Gibson at an earlier, handsomer, less antisemitic age.
"In a post-apocolyptic future, I will become quite ugly, quite drunk, and slag off the jews, and then I will make a fucking killing at the box office. Awesome."
5. Give The Dude a haircut.
ALWAYZ GUT FOR FUN TIMEZ.
xoxo nora
Saturday, December 09, 2006
BRAIN OF RADIATION
Woah so am in place where everyone talk funny (EVEN THE CHILDS), wear nice shoes and is more cultured than fuck; I am 90-311% sure peeps here view me and The Dude as single cell organisms that live under sewerage pipes. Cannot stop speaking in Borat-esque Kazahkstani Accent, maybe this is sign that I am Central Asian at Heart\in DNA?
Sad to have left the Untied Stats, that place had more algorithms than nearly anywhere I have travelled [NOTE TO SELF: WHAT IS ALGORITHM]. But we is pleased to announce that diagnosis=STILL AWESOME.
Oh fuck, no time for Springer style Words of Fucking Awesome Wisdom of the Day as am apparently running out of air time, which cost about EURO 1 MILLION [AU$12389120983190283190284019284 approx]. To sum shit up, basically, how nice is old shit [HEAPS].
xoxo nora
PS wish u woz here 06!!!!!!!LOLZ!!!!!!!
PPS WTF
Sad to have left the Untied Stats, that place had more algorithms than nearly anywhere I have travelled [NOTE TO SELF: WHAT IS ALGORITHM]. But we is pleased to announce that diagnosis=STILL AWESOME.
Oh fuck, no time for Springer style Words of Fucking Awesome Wisdom of the Day as am apparently running out of air time, which cost about EURO 1 MILLION [AU$12389120983190283190284019284 approx]. To sum shit up, basically, how nice is old shit [HEAPS].
xoxo nora
PS wish u woz here 06!!!!!!!LOLZ!!!!!!!
PPS WTF
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